Sunday, December 10, 2006

Being female and over six feet tall? Assumption without dignity.

If you are female and 6’ or taller you may recognize some of these: Amazon, Giant/Giantess, long-legs, tree, THING, lurch, She-Hulk, different, big girl, stretch, monster, tower, wall, dinosaur, toothpick, string-bean, freak, Godzilla, Sarah (plain and tall), butch. For me, I think, “That” is probably the most common, as in hearing people say, “Look at that!”, along with the second most common “My God!” While I'm tempted in writing this to make some joke about people’s need to deify me, having people fall back in fear or be unable to contain their shock at this “unnatural” appearance when I stand up to get off a bus, or when a person turns around after bumping into me isn’t a joke or very funny to me at all.

I am 6’3.5” tall. Actually I might be 6’4” but I’m not in any hurry to check that; because 6’3.5” just sounds a whole lot shorter to me. Stupid isn’t it? Except that people tend to make assumptions, judgments and actions based on appearance and as one Professor put it: “Many people are turned off by extremes...I believe this is human nature.” But people are also fascinated by extremes, and for some reason, many people assume, that like celebrities, tall women have given up their right to personal privacy. Maybe when people walk up to shorter people, differently abled people, people in wheelchairs or other visible separators they start with a joke or nickname to emphasis the difference like “Hey, crip, what’s the gravel like down there?” Maybe other people go around making statements about what sex with other people would be like (“like a jockey riding a horse”), I can’t say. “How’s the weather up there stretch?”, “You sure are tall”, “How tall are you”, “You play basketball/volleyball”, “You sure your feet come all the way to the ground?” like any tall woman, I could retire if I got a $1 ever time I heard them (and YES, I DO know I am tall - just the fact that I have to bend down to check my hair in a public bathroom mirror might give me that clue). And if you don’t smile and make some inane comment of approval, people can get quite mad. It doesn’t matter that you might be in the elevator after finding out about a death in the family, or having just lost your job. Hey, you’re a public figure, you OWE it to them, don’t you? I wish I was kidding about this, but I have had people get quite hostile if I just stare at them or am otherwise occupied; "I was just trying to be nice!" they huff.

From 1950’s to the 1990’s doctors treated tall young girls to try and stop them become tall women: “Since tall girls usually become tall women, the biggest concern seemed to be that tall women would have a hard time fitting in, being comfortable in social situations, and, most importantly, finding a man to marry.” Many parents believed that having a very tall daughter would mean they would but unable to participate in society, get a job and find a partner. For those successful females under the treatment, both grades and social interaction immediately improved.

A study done on 10,000 people born the same week in the UK in 1958 found that the probably of a woman having children decreased the taller she was (along with the probability of her getting married). As Dr. Adam Eyre-Walker summed it up, "We are taught to look upon tall men and small women as desirable" Indeed studies in the US on mate selection have proved this out – based on the studies two scientist Gillis and Avis estimated that 2%, 2 out of 100 couples would have the male shorter than the female. In their study they found that instead it only occurs in 1 out of every 720 couples.

Because height is a key part of how our society determines masculinity, tall women are societally often viewed as unfeminine; one interpretation of female height and childbirth ratios goes so far as to conclude that tall women (because they have fewer children and later in life) must be “mannish” in thought (though the researcher covers by adding this doesn't mean taller women are unattractive). For those tall girls who excel at sports, they are accepted in society, but for others, until recently having to resort to the men’s department in order to find shoes and jeans long enough, there is a subtle to not so subtle attitude that they are somehow not entirely female, or female but not feminine, and certainly not normal. One “agony aunt” column told a 6’3” women who wrote in desperation saying men were threatened by her and she couldn’t find anyone to date her that she should perhaps try fetish and kink parties. As Seattle’s Dategirl says, if you are a guy attracted to a woman who towers over you, odds are, it’s a fetish, and that for a guy to have fantasies about tall women (you know, the way romance novels sell tens of millions of books a year to women based on the same fantasies of a tall handsome man) is “just creepy.” On that note, I was invited to a kink party a couple of weeks ago, assured that I would be “very popular” – errr....yeah. So it is surprising to find that major depression is twice as likely or more in tall women? (There is a theory that serotonin doesn’t work right in bodies this tall – insert hollow laughter).

This isn’t to say that being tall is all bad; I mean sure I can’t sit down on a bus or airplane, I sleep on the floor because I can’t find a bed long enough, and I pay two times what you do for clothes and up to 10 times what you do for shoes. That part kinda sucks. But, I’m me, unique (whether I want to be on that particular day or not). Like I tell my the salon that puts in my hair colours (currently red and purple), “It’s not like they’re not going to look at me anyway, so let them stand in wonder.” But, while everyone thinks that tall people are giants; full of unfeeling strength, and broad emotional shoulders that is often not the case. In the UK, a 60+ year old woman came up to me at church to thank me...for simply being alive; she was 6’1” – try to imagine what life was like for her in rural Britain of the 40’s and 50’s. In the special features of the film The Princess Bride, Andre the Giant had been asked how he liked making in the film. He liked it very much...it was first time in his life he could go around day after day without people staring at him all the time.

All this was brought home to me when someone recently jumped to an assumption and started chastising me as “brutal” and “brutish” in the same sort of chiding tone you would caution a 5’2” girl that she was being “clumsy” or that she should try to “be gentle”. The person calling me this thought nothing of using the term. The definition of Brutish: resembling a beast; showing lack of human sensibility, ruthless, sadistic, lacking of human compassion – an adjective from the word Brute: Having the physical powers predominating over the mental, An animal destitute of human reason. It’s the kind of term people apply to rapists. I am not brutish; I am not a bully; I do not intimidate; I am not trying to dominate anyone; I am just tall. I don't want you to fear me. What kind of woman would want people to be afraid of her just because she stands up?

It makes me thankful for having someone like Linda, who spent the time to learn that often big people have big hearts. Linda at her 5’10”, called “Amazon” and received joking about her height growing up, joins me as we march though society; we can’t stop people pointing, or nudging or yelling things out of cars, drunk guys mouthing off or people rushing up to compare their how far they come up but we have each other and we know that to at least one person in the world we are just the “right” size.

For other views, it turns out both Feministing and Nerve recently discussed life as a 6 foot plus tall woman.

69 comments:

kathz said...

This is a very good post. I had a cousin who was 6ft. 6ins. as a result of Marfan's syndrome (which also caused heart problems and severe problems with sight). She was very tall from her early teens and could have done without the jokes about her height, however well meant.

Incidentally, I've also come across a couple of very successful straight marriages in which the woman is much taller than her husband. The idea that women should be small goes with the idea that they should be clinging and dependent, although most small women don't fit that stereotype either.

I's like to see people celebrate the enormously attractive variety of human beings who refuse to conform to stereotype.

Incidentally the scariest fencer I ever faced was much smaller than me and most of the people he fenced. Luckily he was ever so nice when he didn't have a sword in his hand and both incredulous and terribly apologetic about the bruises and cuts he caused. He started when I did and everyone fenced him, even the kids, with this exception: women who were going on holiday and wanted to wear something low-cut while away wouldn't fence him in the two weeks before their departure!

Wiccachicky said...

One of my best friends is 5'11 and she goes through this all the time. She knows she's bought into the hype, but she just can't seem to date someone shorter than her, which makes it difficult for her to date anyone.

GayProf said...

This is a really interesting post. Shamefully, I had been fairly oblivious to the ways height and gender interplay for women until recently. I am still shocked when straight women tell me that they don't want to date a man shorter than themselves out of fear of feeling unfeminine in comparison (or robbing him of his masculinity).

Elizabeth McClung said...

After writing this I have been reminded that a similar thing occurs to women who develop early or large breasts - again, the public comments. Reading some of the comments on Feministe's blog was compelling how similar tall women's experiences are - I went to the US for 1 hour and was approached 3 times by men - when I say "approached" what I mean was "talked about like a pieced of meat" which in one case was between two guys about 3 feet away from me:

"Man, I never seen a woman that tall."
"Me neither"
"I think she's kinda cute though"
"Yeah, I guess she is"
"I think I'd like 'that'"
"I'm gonna talk to her."

Anonymous said...

This is really a great post.

25 years ago I worked with a guy who was 6'5". I asked him if he played basketball and he was really disgusted and said he was really tired of people asking him that.

I was glad to get an early education on how stupid it is to assume anything about anyone but and then point out someone's differences in such a callous way.

~Elizabeth
emeraldpillows.org

Avery Ray Colter said...

When flirting with my wife, I call her my "Love-Ball Giantess". She has had to deal not only with being tall but also being fat, a double-target for all the horrendous attitudes mentioned here, including so-called "treatments" to change her physique. My first wife was not as tall but was an early riser and mentioned being taller than her 6th grade teacher. In both cases they chose me knowing they'd have the additonal constructed issue of having an "Elf-size" husband. Yes I call myself an Elf, I've decided I rather enjoy a little mythologizing about it. I'm also amused when larger men approach my current wife and ask "What has he got for you?", which she always answers with a certain knowing look. She's written a poem, "Such a tiny man, and yet with the biggest shoulders I've ever seen". We joke that we're a perfect fit, because the first time I met her I just gave her a big bear hug and my arms went all the way around her, right on the nose.

I guess having always had an eye for "bigness", I tread the fine line of being one of those guys Elizabeth complains of, though never in my life do I refer to women as "that", even the ones who don't so much draw my eyes. I think such language is hideous and those who use it are the true monsters of the world. Maybe they're the Orcs, who knows? ;)

I guess as an "Elf", I know what my strengths and weaknesses are, and I enjoy being appreciated for what I bring physically to the table, so I appreciate what a big woman brings physically as well. As always though, body image is the interface between a person's palpable material and personality, and thus a very critical part of someone's being. And love always involves getting to know how to let someone else use their strengths and to help them get around their difficulties. For me, I just feel I want to show my wife that she's beautiful as she is - a fact seemingly arrived at by others besides myself, especially as her own body image becomes more positive.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I see a tall female walking with pride and good posture, I secretly praise her parents for teaching her to not be ashamed of her very presence. I knew a few tall girls when I was younger that ended up with permanent slouches or who rarely dated (either sex) because they couldn't find a person of matching height. Still makes me sad.

Fuzzy Necromancer said...

When somebody says, with the cheerful grin of people who have no real sense of humor, "How's the weather up there?" the proper response is to spit and say "It's raining".

This is incredibly ridiculous and horrible. I have often used tallness as a comparison to point out the ridiculousness of the "Obesity Epidemic" only to find out that the similies work both ways.

I don't understand how being small and thing got hooked up with our cultural ideal of femininity. To me, the real stand-out characteristics that make a woman a woman, are female reproductive organs. Unless a girl is large enough to eat me after copulation praying-mantis style, I don't see how height has any effect, nor why a preference for taller women should be a fetish any more than a person can have a blond fetish or a busty fetish.

Elizabeth McClung said...

I used to slouch but I don't anymore, however, I tend when stationary to stand using my shorter leg in a way that drops about 2 inches. So the UPPER half is straight

I like the "it's raining" comment - I too think that people should like the diversity women come in - I have found that displaying reproductive organs in daily life does tend to get the focus away from the height, but presents problems too (like criminal charges in most cities) - good thing Victoria has a nude cycling day, huh?

Anonymous said...

(Here via Alas)
A great post. I'm 6'1, and very broadly built - I'm accused of being a man, or if I dress in a 'feminine' way of being a transvestite. I'm very definitely public property. And I don't just stoop, but I've given myself a hunchback from stooping. I wish I could just be me without having to take the shit for it.

Anonymous said...

I'm 17 years old and i'm around 6'1.As a freshmen in high school, i was about 5'10. I have used all my height to become a softball pitcher who throws around 66 mph. This is an extremely amazing post. I am taller than most guys and of course all girls at my school, and i get made fun of mostly all of the time. I get called names like beast, man, giant, and everything mentioned in this post. People don't realize that those comments really get to people. I've learned guys shorter than me, are just intimidated because we all know any guy would kill to be tall. The girls just say it looks manly. Finally as a senior in high school, i've accepted the fact that i'm 6'1 with an athletic body and size 11 shoes. And i've learned to love me.

Alek said...

Very tall women just should not care about ignoratn comments about their height. Think of yourselves as an aristocracy. You're breaking the mold of the putrid average, in which only the mediocre feel comfortable. But that's not for you. God made you like that for a reason, so explore it to the fullest. There is no more elegant sight than that of a tall woman confident of her femininity. She has all the female qualities, plus she's encroached on male territory with her height. That makes har a more complete human being in my book. So only very special people have the strength and courage to be attracted to them.
I'm a 6'2" man and, believe me, I don't mind looking up at a beautiful, conficent, poised woman. Quite the contrary, I feel that she just draws out the best in me.
Never slouch - please!

Anonymous said...

I'm a man 6'5" tall. Some say I'm handsome but, I'm a good man. That's what is important. I have no problem dating but I really want to mee a good woman who is over 6 feet tall. I am so tired of bending over or standing two steps down to kiss a girl. I'd like to rub cheeks and toes at the same time. I'd like hold jands and walk at the same pace. I'm tired of getting in my dates car - or trying to get in and not be at all comfortable. I'd like to kiss a girl standing up - lips to lips. I get so tired of e-mailed replies by "tall" girls who are only 5' 7-1/2" but think I'm hot. I don't like liars and 5'8" is not tall!

Tall and beautiful girls like you are a rare gem - a very rare treasure. There are just not enough of you.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I am a tall handsome guy. I feel very happy to see or speak to tall females. I am 5ft 10 inches. Tall females are nice and good looking. They can proudly come out and meet people outside. They infact need to show that others who are not tall enough should feel inferior. I would like to meet tall females. Anybody can contact me on my mail redsapfire@yahoo.co.in who is tall enough. I would like to meet them and make friends.

sara said...

that is a great post.. a nickname i have at school is the jolly green giant which i dont understand because i hardly wear green but whatever. im 16 and 6 foot. last year i finally fould a place to buy jeans that are cheap. im glad my boyfriend is taller than me. bc i dated a shorter guy and it was so weird to me i felt like i was his mom or something. but not only am i tall but on the chubby side i guess that is just from living in the US but im 165lbs and it doesn't look good when u r so tall.
It is funny though my friends will get in a fight w/ other girls and they will ask me to fight them as if i was stronger than them or something.
i always get asked if i play basketball and i did and i was the 'star' now i switched to swimming it is sooo much better on my knees bc my 'joints r loose' that is what my doc told me

oh and i have a question what in the world is fencing? u can contact me through BBallSlim35@aol.com

Anonymous said...

Good post indeed. I'm a dude, 6'6" and am a junior in high school. Besides being tall I also have red hair, so I'm expecting some minority scholarships fo sho! ;-)

I don't have too much of a problem with girls, that said my limit is kinda none below 5'7"/5'8", so it's not too restricting.

Funny thing is, some of my best friends are short, so we make quite a group.

Btw fencing is like sword-fighting to the person that asked...

Avery said...

I am a gorgeous 40-year-old amazon who has successfully (so far) raised 3 tall daughters. My oldest, in college at 17, is 6 feet. My middle daughter is 6'1" and a sophomore in high school. She thinks her life will be OVER if she doesn't get to be 6'3". My youngest at age 8 is proud to be the tallest child in her 3rd-grade classroom. Somehow, they've all gotten the idea that we have MORE options as tall women. No man or woman must meet any height requirement to be a potential partner. They've seen me in the past with partners who have been shorter than me, and a very few who have been taller. We mostly agree that shorter is more attractive to us . . . perhaps because it is less familiar? I'm completely satisfied to be 6'2" and any shorter would not feel like me. If I really want to feel like a sexy beast, then I strap on the 4" Ferragamo stilletos and hit the town. Now THAT stops the earth spinning for a minute or two, which I love!!
I once was standing buck nekked in the locker room of my gym when two shorter women walked right up to me and said, "how tall are you anyway??" And I said, "oh how sweet, you want to share personal information. Why don't you go first. How MUCH DO YOU WEIGH, ANYWAY????" They slunk off hugging their towels close. Well. They started it!!

Belinda said...

Hey there! I agree that you really have hit the nail on the head when you say tall women are treated as if we are public property. It never ceases to amaze me that people think that they have the right to approach you and ask you anything and expect an answer. You are treated like a public figure; no regard is given to your feelings or to what you are going through at that moment. I'm 35 years old and 6ft 8ins tall and I love my height. But I really do get annoyed at how people behave sometimes. I would never ask people some of the questions that I get asked. I think it is largely a question of breeding as well as curiosity playing a part. I'm not married, but I do get asked out a lot. I decline because you can tell in conversation with the person that they are only want to "try it" with a tall girl. The guys I meet are not interested in me as a person. So I continue to await my prince charming!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting ladies! I'm 6'2" and shared all the same experiences as all of you. I just bought a pair of lovely heels. I couldn't decide if I would wear them or not because I would have to put up with too much problems from guys...well I'm going to wear those heels I like the heels, I like me.

Shellie Greer said...

Great post and very well communicated! I'm a lovely 6'2" myself. I am finally comfortable with my height and no one can make me feel bad about it. I wear my 3" heels and wear them well.

My height was my main fuel for school decisions. After graduating with a degree in Psychology, I decided I needed to change the world in another way: create clothes for tall ladies like us. I'm almost done with fashion design school and plan to launch a line for tall women in 10 years or so. I also am going to start a shoe factory that produces sizes beyond a 10. We have a real market niche, you know!

Anonymous said...

My name is Tiffany and I am 6'2. I love being tall and I've never had a problem with it. I actually have a tattoo on my leg that says Amazon because to me thats somthing unique. I usually get good attention when I walk down the street; however, people do stare a lot. Its funny to me, I guess I just love the attention. Being tall is awesome!!!! Embrace it!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you this post was such an encouragement. Growing up, I was so insecure about my huge feet and long limbs and awkward body that wouldn't fit into anything I wanted it to. I'm now in college and am learning to embrace my body the way it is. I think my favorite nicknames were/are "Jolly Green Giant" and "Longy-McGhee".

My boyfriend really has helped me with my body image. I'm 6'0" and athletic and my boyfriend is 5'10" and rather skinny. Its taken a while to break my notion of having an abercrombie-esque boyfriend, but i just look through the height difference and see his face, and I remember the real reason we're dating: we like each-other for who we are. We always get jabs about how I could beat him up if I wanted to, and how he is so much shorter than me, but we can just laugh it off because we know what we feel. He's so amazing for how he doesn't care about being "masculine" or about me being "feminine", just about us being us.

Anonymous said...

wow, i am not the only one. i am only 6'1" but i really know how it feels. the worst thing for me is constantly being called a man or (sir). i actually had an elderly couple say that if i was bigger busted i might be mistaken. people are cruel to say the least. i live in the usa and will being moving to canada within the next year or so, in canada i finally found a man that isnt intimidated by my height.
good luck in everything, and thanks for being a beautiful tall woman, and i hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm 6' and I love it! No one pays me out and if they do I ask them if it disturbs them. Most people so 'no' I think your height is sexy with those long legs. When you think about it most supermodels are 5'11 and taller so girls live it up. It's only becomes an issue and awkward if you feel awkward. People are attracted to confidence and happiness. This is no motivational speech it's the truth, I know from first hand experience. You have something special...use and abuse it!!!!

Anonymous said...

Another 6' girl here! I love being tall and have never been self conscious about it. Oddly enough my height was the only thing that I didn't get made of for in school (maybe because I was confident about being tall?).
Finding jeans/shoes that fit is a challenge and finding guys who aren't intimated by my height is hard but I never let that get me down - and neither should all you other tall girls! Be proud of having a characteristic that sets you apart from most other women. Men are attracted to confidence!

Anonymous said...

hey i totally love this blog and just wanted to say i'm SO there with you on the whole "big differece" between 6'4" and 6'3.5". i do that too and refuse to measure myself in the morning when my height is at it's greatest! lol well I am 17 and going to be a senior and until this year i was sort of teased by everyone and i was very rude back, but this year i decided to just joke back and answer all the stupid questions with a smile and a sweet voice and let me tell you it's done wonders with my popularity! everyone likes me and i was voted "nicest AND prettiest girl" for the snow days dance. another thing that has changed this year is boys- haven't had a boyfriend yet but SOO many guys are interested it's not even funny! Oh and I can't wait for college cuz im playing D1 basketball and think of all the attention that will bring:)

Just keep your heads up girls and always wear a smile and you WILL be fine even if some days it feels too hard to go on!

sky said...

I am a 6'9" tall man and I have been with women as short as 5' and women as tall as 6'4". The real difference is whats inside. I can see true beauty at any height. So stand tall and be proud of who you are.
Oh, and for all the idiots that cant come up with a better line then " How's the Weather Up There" Or, " Do You Play Basketball" ... Grow up or shut up. Not everyone is a moron or shallow

Anonymous said...

I'm a skinny girl who is 6 feet 1 inches. I was surprised to learn that so few couples have shorter guys than girls, but I think I can understand why. I had a 'rule' that any guy I dated had to be taller than me OR weigh more than me. I hated feeling like I was going to break the guy I was dating in half. I dated some guys that made comments throughout the relationship that I was too big to pick up, or too heavy (I tend towards the same body type as my own, the guys tend to weigh less). That being said, I'm in a great relationship that I can't believe I might have passed up because he is shorter than me and weighs less than me. But there is no way I could break him in half, either. So i guess the spirit of the rule still won out.

Food&Wine Diva said...

I loved this post! I'm a 6'3 goddess in California, the home of first-impressions and plastic/ perfect good looks, and it has always been a bit of a struggle to either find shoes, handle unsolicited commentary, and/ or find someone of genuine interest, despite height, because of all the stereotypical preconceived notions. Now more of a public figure than ever because of my personality and career, my height is a hindrance and a godsend. For all those beautiful tall women out there, keep one thing in mind: Your height will command attention as you walk in a room despite what you do, so create the image you want! not the one they give you!

Tammie said...

I loved your comments! I completely agree. I am 6' ft tall....maybe 6'1 and have a 13 year old daughter who is taller than anyone in her 7th grade class. We spend a fortune on jeans and pants. I can assure you that we are both very much ladies and have NO BRUT in us....however, I feel certain others think this. I have been married for 22 years to a wonderful man who is 2 inches shorter than me. It doesn't bother eighter of us, but I know people talk about it. Why is that?

Michael said...

I am a man I am 22 and 6'6" and I recall all of those types of names when I was younger. from my view, I hated being called it until I realized that people do that because they are either jealous or envious. I was able to let those tings go and they just became a cool nickname. As for when people constantly ask if i play basket ball or remark your tall, i usually just ignore it because its ignorance. when people say that they are just trying to confirm what they are seeing. some times i just respond with a sarcastic remark ie"wow you're tall.""wow, you have a face." or"do you play basketball?""well, are you a horse jockey?", but all in all i dont let it get to me because i accept that i am different and that it attracts attention. i am glad that i am the way i am. and dont say its unnatural, were we genetically altered by man(i sure hope not)i do nt think so, there for its natural, its just a different turn for nature. how will we ever evolve and adapt to a growing world without changes.

note: this is purely expressed opinion, plus i thing tall women are beautiful

Anna Claire said...

I'm 5'11- and only 13 years old (and I still have more to grow). I'm constantly being pointed out for my height. The way you put it, it seems being tall is a terrible thing. I actually enjoy it! I've got a great advantage in basketball and I have a much better chance of becoming a model. Being tall isn't all that bad!

Anonymous said...

im 1.79 metres tall. hw many feet are those and im 16,, i dnt wanna grow taller.. im balck. am i ever gonna grow any taller or since im a girl i'v stopped growing...?

Anonymous said...

I love this article...Since I was 14 (I'm 19 now), I have been 6 feet even. I have actually been called many of those nicknames, along with "ogre," a favorite of one of my friends. There is just something about hitting the 6 ft. mark that freaks people out. For a while, as an experiment, I actually went around saying that I was 5'11 and 3/4in. And you know what? They actually freaked out less, as if that 1/4 inch made some huge difference. Ridiculous. Anyway, it's always nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in my everlasting struggle to find jeans that both fit properly and are affordable. Most of my friends (all of the girls and all but 2 or 3 of the guys) are shorter than I am, so ranting in this way to people who understand is kind of...liberating. And I know that when I finally find a guy who will either be taller than I am or shorter but uncaring of my height, I won't look as ridiculous as some of the couples in which the woman is 5'0 and the guy looks like he's about 6'5 and has to practically bend in half just to kiss his girlfriend. I also just realized how old this article is...haha. I hope you don't mind me commenting anyway.

Anonymous said...

My daughter looked like a 5yr old at age 2. she looked like a 13yr old at age 6.She is 5ft11 and only 9.

Anonymous said...

Jeans...........LLBean! I'm long in the leg and their tall jeans (34") don't come up to my armpits the way some tall jeans do. LOL I'm 64 years old, by the way, and still trying to adjust to being 6' tall. How crazy is that! But the good thing is that "peer pressure" only hit me in the height department, not anywhere else. LOL And I don't slouch. So..........not too bad, over all. I guess.

Anonymous said...

Imagine being a guy who wants to be with a woman like you though. It's even harder. First of all, at 5' 11", I have never been with a woman who is taller. Also, societal steriotypes penalize men as well. You are desired, but you have to get over the concepts that hold you back too. Don't forget the apparent distain you hold for men that find you attractive. Don't think that the mainstream will be your salvation. It isn't for anyone exceptional. I hope you find the love of your life, and much happiness. You really do have what it takes.

Victoria said...

I am a 6'1 female who also happens to be African-American. I have never had a problem getting a date ever. I've been married twice and I have 3 daughters. My problem comes in the workplace. Recently I quit a job of 10 years when a new manager came in and started saying how I was "intimidating" and some of the other employees went along with it even though I'd worked there...um...10 years!!! I feel that it is a double stereotype when you are a Black female because you also have the stereotype of being "mean" and "ghetto" if you are not smiling like an idiot on crack every second. I'm happily not working right now and going to college to educate myself so I can prove I am better than all of those idiots. Right now I am on a search to find a city that has the most tall people in it, so my daughters can find husbands when they become of age and it will not be scary to see 4 6foot tall Black women walking together down the street.

Anonymous said...

i am a 10yr old girl and 5ft10

Anonymous said...

my daughter looked like a 7yr old at age 2.Then at 6 she looked like a 14yr old.She is 9 and 6ft

Anonymous said...

I am 1.90 m tall which is just under 6'3, so I round down to 6'2 when I tell people.

I live in Denmark and people do not give me a difficult time about my height as people stick to their own business. I don't think about my height or worry about a guy being shorter than me - there are other aspects of the person that are more important to me and if I limit to very tall guys I might be missing some great guys.

I am very reluctant to go out with a short guy if he immediately comes after me. There are guys with a height fetish and I've seen too many.

Donald Collis said...

I am 6 ft 10 and I am with out a doubt not hiding from anyone. I find it fairly easy to stick out at any event when it Requires everyone to stand up. But your right I would do just about anything to meet a women that is closet to my height. I m always having to bend down. It does have its perks though the old lady's at the stores always pull me aside to have me get things on the top shelf. This I do not mind and to tell you the truth t makes my day to be able to help. I do notice allot of dirt on the tops of frigs and vending machines. And its easy to tuck stuff out of the way by place the things on top kitchen cabinets.

Anonymous said...

I am 6 feet tall (the same height as my husband but everyone thinks I am taller). I swore I was 5 feet 10 in college and high school. In law school, I admitted to 5 11. And now I embrace 6 feet. I tell my daughter (age 6) that when people say to her, "oh my gosh you are so tall (or so big as people inevitably do -- even though she is tall and thin) -- her answer should be "thank you" because it is a compliment. She loves being tall. She stands on her tip-toes to try to be the tallest in the class for school pictures, and says that she wants to be as tall as my brother (6 6) some day.

SARAH said...

All through high school I was teased. Not only was i 6'1'' but I was fat. 239 lbs. I hated the way people made fun of me. I realized I could change my weight but not my height. Im 21 now and I weigh 165 lbs. I love being tall now..the jokes dont bother me. Being tall isn't all bad...I have legs 43 inches long lol.

Bethany said...

hey, im 15 and im around 6ft 1 .im so glad you made his post i thought i was a freak and the only one!:D plus i want to thank all the commemts above me because they gave me an warm feeling that there is people like me over 6ft:))) i get called everything that digs at my height but i give as good as i get :)so im dealing with it... love you all xox :)

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I am so delighted to read all these comments. Honestly, it's nice to read about me in someone else. I'm 6ft. 1ins. (or something like that) and have always been proud of it. Now, at 18, I'm wearing 4ins. heels, and being happy. Every day I try to live up to my long legs, and love the jealous stares of girls who are 5ft.1ins. Sometimes I even wish for another ins. just because it makes me an individual, and makes me feel beautiful.

I live in Holland, the land of tall people. Most of the time I don't feel tall any more (except for the dating part of course...) and I miss it. It has always made me who I am, and will always be part of me.
I'd like to invite everyone who's having difficulty with their height to come here and see the difference. For you might come to miss it!

I wish you all a happy and tall life, and may you all find your own true love. (yeah it sounds cheesy, but it's from the heart :P)

Stephanie

Anonymous said...

This post is about 4 years old, and I doubt anyone would still be commenting on this.. But I would just like to say THANK YOU to the writer and especially to all of the people who left these wonderful comments.
I am 18 years old at 6' tall, and can perfectly relate to all of these posts. I have often felt insecure about my height and have been teased (I often got the 'string bean' or 'bean pole' since I am also very thin) endlessly about it.

But really, what I want to say, is thank you for making me aware that there are so many others out there in my situation! There is really no point in being depressed over my height, or wishing there were ways to become shorter. I am what I am, and I need to embrace it as you all have done.
So thank you very, very, very much for the encouragement. I can't express how much happier I feel after reading all of these comments.

-Anonymous

p.s. it IS true that people in Holland are very tall! :) I went there once and felt right at home. Of course, I am half Dutch, so maybe that's why I am the way I am!

Anonymous said...

I know at least 20 women 6'0" or taller who were 5'2" or shorter when they were 12 years old. 5'0" can be very tall for a 12 year old girl.

Anonymous said...

Im glad i found this because im 6Ft. and i always fell really awkward around other girls even though i want to embrace my hieght.

Hannah said...

I am 6'2" and I have not stopped growing (I am 16 and STILL growing). I recently met someone who was 6' and it was nice to bond with them about being so tall and bending to mirrors and not being able to sit in cars. Anyways, "how's the weather up there" is NOT a funny joke, contrary to popular belief. This girl told me, when people ask her that, she spit on them and tells them its raining. GENIUS!

also love reading other people have this problem too!! i thought i was the only one! love you all

Anonymous said...

I'm almost 18 and am 6'2. I love being tall. Everything comes easier to tall people, male or female.

Let's take a look at tall, successful celebrities: Elle Macpherson (183cm) - supermodel, business woman and mother. Ana Hickmann (187cm) - supermodel (has worked for Victoria's Secret), won the guiness world record for longest legs! Go online and look at woman's basketball or netball teams, most woman in them are tall and successful.

Two of my female friends are just over 6' and I have guy friends who are the same height as me, or close too and a couple who are taller!

A little about me: I have long blonde hair, I can tan and I'm an aus size 8-10. My feet are aus size 9 which is a standard size. Most quality jeans stores stock jeans my length. Most people think I'm a supermodel. Someone even once thought I was a Victoria's Secret Angel! I have a flat stomach and C cup breasts. 
I was voted most gorgeous at my school ball. I fit into aeroplane and car seats. I've had stalkers, guys who follow me around at parties trying to talk to me and guys who just won't let up on asking me out. 

This article makes being tall sound so much worse than it actually is! Girls, if you're this tall my strongest advice to you is this: eat healthy, exercise, work on getting a fabulous body. Tan, cleanse and wear makeup that makes you look like a superstar. Make friends with other tall people. I know from experience that you will feel more confident being seen with them. 
Guys (or girls for that matter) wont care if you're tall or short, as long as you're confident and look and feel AMAZING! Life has no limits, especially not height ones. 

Good luck, and get the job, house, friends and man of your dreams! xoxo

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what your talking about. I'm 16, 6 ft 1.5 inch. People who know me have gotten over my height, but whenever I go out in public I can always here the whispers "oh shes so tall" and people always asking if I play basketball and volleyball, which I do, but it gets sooooooo annoying. When people say your tall, I just feel lke saying "yes, im aware" but then if you do that you get dirty looks. Also, It's hard finding guys tall enough,,,theres some but there all taken and Its awkward dating someone whos shorter than you. I really like your post, and I agree with you.

Victoria said...

Great post!! I am 6'1 and will be 40 years old this year. I never really had a problem with my height until I began to gain a lot of weight 10 years ago. Maybe for me it was the combination, but that's when all the "man" and "tranny" comments came out. People are just idiots for the most part. I cant think of one time when I was without a date - I've been married twice and have 3 daughters. I am working to lose the weight and also accept me for me. I chalk everything up to "people are idiots". I say "I am glad that you can see how long my legs are because God could have easily made me so that I'd be in a wheelchair and you would have to comment on that instead." Makes them feel dumb.

Hayley said...

I'm fifteen years old, and six feet tall. To be honest, high school sucks. I don't get teased anymore (I think it is partially because they are afraid of me, which in this case I don't mind) but everywhere I go I get the "You are really tall" (Yes. I know) "How do you date?", "Do you play basketball/volleyball?" I used to not mind being tall, but lately it has been really bothering me. I slouch all the time, and the bottoms of my shoes are falling off because I can never find my size. Clothes are never long enough, and even my teachers at my old school would joke when my uniform skirt was too short that I need to get a longer skirt (I was already wearing a size too big for me) or they could chop off some of my legs. There are only three guys that are taller than me in my grade, one is going out with my best friend, the other is gay, and the other is a pervert. I've fallen under the hype that you can't date a man shorter than you. I've tried it, and to be honest I did feel less feminine. I'm just worried I won't find someone. I used to like being tall, but now its my biggest insecurity.

wicked ballet slippers said...

I absolutely love this post, I have been 6th tall since I was twelve and am probably 6'1 now. I have never dated a man taller than me, and the only part of that that bothers me is the way other people carry on. I am still learning to love my height and all that it entails, and someday I may even wear those 5 inch heels again;)

Anonymous said...

I'm a 6'1''(185cm) tall girl and I must say I've never been asked if I played basketball. I've been asked if I'm a model quite a few times though. I am quite skinny (some would say anorexic) for such a height, I weigh 145lbs(65kg) and I do think I appear to be shorter. I have never had a problem with being tall, all of my boyfriends have been considerably taller(maybe it has to do with the fact three of them have been Eastern European, where nations are really tall). A woman my height might be a rarity in the US or in Asia, but since I moved to Europe, I've met so many women who are as tall as I am and even taller and who have never been insecure about their height. When I went to visit my then boyfriend's family in Serbia, there were tons of girls my height in the streets and it really felt great. I never understood why so many tall girls think that since they're tall, they have to wear flats. I have zero pairs of flats and while I do own a couple of sneakers, most of my shoes have a 4-6 inch heel. I think the foot looks more elegant in a heel and high heels correct the posture. The only issue I have ever had with being tall is the fact that I wear a size 11 US(43 EU) shoe and that those are sometimes hard to find in regular stores.

Greta said...

I don't know if people still comment on this but, I'm 6ft and fourteen and I'm the tallest girl in our year. I really only hate my height at school because everyone is just way smaller and there's all the jokes and that...

Outside of school it doesn't bother me so much, except today when I walked past some boys they were like, "Oh my God she is well tall." as if I couldn't hear them.

It's pathetic how people are judged automatically by their height and people don't take heightism as seriously as they should. It's cool for boys to be tall, but freaky for girls to be tall? It's stupid and I'm fed up of the comments everywhere I go.

I actually think that the majority of girls and boys who take the mick out of tall girls are actually jealous, because you find that a lot of tall girls are beautiful and elegant and look good in anything. Modelling is a job we have a big advantage in. But at the end of the day it's about your personality. A lot of my friends (who are quite a lot smaller than me) don't notice my height as much, well they don't care anyway because of my personality.

Being tall is awesome, you just got to have the confidence to embrace it. Millions of short girls would kill for our legs aha!

:)

Anonymous said...

This is a fantastic post as it's expressed a certain emotion, and has been able to put into words things that I have been trying to explain to people for a long time as to why I find them so offensive..

i'm 6'3 :D.

After years of battling with myself and asking "why me?!?!" I feel that I have finally turned a corner and accepted myself for what I am.

Anonymous said...

I am a guy who stands 5'10" and adores girls taller than me. They have always treated oh so well. Before she died, the apple of my eye was a red head who stood at 6' tall. Just give them respect and really listen to them and you might have a good relationship going. If a girl has bigger feet than her boy freind, so what. If he loves you he wouldn't hassle you for having large soles. Just say away from the shallow Hals. Be proud of who you are. If you are tall, SO WHAT! There are men who would be happily married even if their spouse was taller. The name of the game is empathy and compatability. Stay away from a shallow stud muffin and hang out with the decent guy who says: hey, lets catch a film, let check this restaurant, and so forth. I have seen shorter guys with taller ladies and no one makes a big deal. If you are looking for those hard to get shoes to go about town, two places: internet, or believe it or not, the cross dressers store. Those stores cater to vain guys who cross dress and have shoe size for sexy styles up to USA mens size 20 EEE. So there. I read Metro Times here in Detroit and you can't help but see that ad. So live your lives in bliss and kiss the sky.

Tobias said...

I like this post to be honest. To be honest, I still don't know what people in general have against tall men and especially women.

As a very tall bloke myself at 211 cm, I've come across all kinds of 'tall remarks'. Usually when people say how's the weather up there, I just say " it's warm up here, too bad you're too short to check it out"

Just to conclude what I have to say, I LOVE TALL WOMEN. As a matter of fact, I'm married to my lovely wife Linda who is 201 cm tall (6'7") and she's got a heart of gold

I sometimes called her "shorty" just to tease her

Elizabeth McClung said...

As long as I'm around, you can still comment - and the diversity of comments is great, like the diversity in women and couples.

Anonymous said...

I am 6' 1" tall, and since I live in the US, I get quite a few looks. I weigh 180lbs. I am 30 years old, and I look pretty thin, because one of the advantages of being tall is you can carry your weight better. If I were 5' 1" and weighed that I would look like a garden gnome. I used to feel awkward about my height. I was always called "Big Bird" in school. My husband is 6' 3", so we look pretty normal. My best advice to other ladies that are tall is to be confident in who you are. If a person cannot see past your height, then they are not worth having in your life. I get told how beautiful I am all the time. I have long red hair, and fair skin. I'm pretty tomboyish, so I don't wear heels. I think the worst thing a tall person can do is hunch over. It looks terrible, and shows a total lack of confidence. Do not let ignorant people get the best of you! Having height is a gift, not a burden, so stand up straight, and be proud of that height!

Anonymous said...

I am over 6 feet tall and I am so glad to read that statistically tall women have a harder time finding a partner. I did not find a lifelong partner and I always wondered what was wrong with me. Now when I tell my friends one of the reasons is I am so tall and the other is I am so smart and the two together are too much for most men, well, they don't want to believe me.
When I was young and thin I could always find clothes, but now that I am not so thin, I can't.
"Women's" sizes are for short people. What I need is a regular size 18--or ha-ha a tall size 18, almost impossible to find.

Anonymous said...

I'm 20 years old and 6 foot tall.

I feel like I should love being an exotic peacock amongst all the average pigeons, but instead I'm embarassed.

Every time I wear high heels out, Rednecks make jokes about being a transexual. Its embarassing and makes me want to hide under my bed.

Height is one thing you cannot change about yourself, So I guess I'll have to 'fake it til' I make it'....

Tempt8ion said...

hi im chris and im 6'2 :) at 9 months pregnant with my oldest daughter i was called sir...i get run out of womens rooms all the time and at my high school graduation everyone yelled go big bird....although i dont slouch i wish i had stopped growing at 14 when i was 5'10 or 15 when i hit 6 ft ....i had one boyfriend in high school til my senior year ...i had an incredibly hard time growing up ....i can remember at 11 or 12 my parents getting the childs discounts for me at the movies and joking about how they would show my id to prove i was under the age limit...on the plus side i remember being able to ride all the cool amusement park rides before all my friends could :) my daughters thankfully both only made it to 5'8 although my 15 year old is still wishing for 6' ....im so used to standing out it really blows my mind when there is another tall woman in the room... i married a man who was 5'11 and after the divorce dated one who was 5'7 and was with a man who was 6'1 after that ...my current boyfriend is 6'4 and 300 lbs and i just love not being the tall one in the relationship lol ...HE had problems finding a date after being married for 17 years because women found him scary ...he rides a harley has horns on his helmet and a long beard...hes going to be making me my own set of horns ....i cant wait :) he has taught me to fully embrace being tall...and different...i think at 36 i can finally enjoy being tall :)

Anonymous said...

I'm a 6ft 4 in female. I'm married with a 1 year old son. I've never had a problem with finding guys to date and obviously 1 to marry. My mom taught me to keep my head up and shoulders high. But the comments people make sometimes are really mean. I can deal with the amazon comment weather comment and tree comments but it is hurtful when people assume im a transvestite or homosexual. Women come up to me with their tall comments and add you must find it hard to date. I'm sure you can find a man. When I tell them I have no problem find a guy they continue to ask questions . I love it when my hubby is with me so I dont get crazy questions or jestures. Ive had people to say I must be 7'5. ive had people in a mall food court to pull out a chair and stand in it. Both men and women can be really mean to us tall girls. I have a son and i'm sensitive to people getting to excited about his height. He's one but is 34inches tall. People have already started with comments. He's a baby.

Anonymous said...

I am a freshman in high school and I am 5' 11". I've been 5'11" since I was 12 and, let me tell you, it was rough. I was clinically depressed for both my years in middle school, and I have most certainly had to suffer through the verbal abuse a lot of people feel they must direct at you.

I was SOOO glad to have found this site; it made me feel fantastic to see that I am not the only one. I am in an extracurricular that includes all 4 years, and (due to my height and maturity) I am friends with mostly upper classmen.

There is one very attractive senior boy who is 5'10" and he is the biggest flirt I've ever seen, but he is the first guy to ever make me feel good about my stature. His best friend (also a senior) even told me that he and his other guy friends rated me (yesss as it turns out, a lot of HS boys rate girls) in the top 10 most attractive girls out of all the girls that also do that after school activity. (There are about 65 girls in the group)

I know that my height and new-found confidence played an instrumental part in the positive attention I have been receiving since the start of the year, and for the first time, I am glad to be 6 inches above average.

Joanne Mason said...

I am 6'2" tall and transsexual. Being transsexual isn't, of course, a lifestyle choice, it's the way I am.
I do feel sorry for all you women who are assumed to be transgendered women, but do spare a thought for those of us who are. We are humans also and we deserve our dignity too.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Tobias: 211 cm, wow, I am so used to being the tallest, that I forget that there are men who are far, far taller than I am (by 7 or 8 inces it sounds like - even your Linda is taller).

Anon: the one tall shop in town shut down so I get what you say about size 18 tall - where art thou? I found out that men have tall for tops - this is extremely unfair!

Anon: The expectation of a tall woman to have even taller children is horrid, it is often openly rude. I got so, so tired of people asking what I was fed to get tall that I just say, "I think it was radioactive." because I always felt 'different' to them.

Joanne: If I understand correctly, the outcome of treatment for transsexuality is to be female. It is the presumption which is often spoken which is painful. It isn't about disliking transsexuals, it is about people openly speculating or asking if I am 'really a guy', which is about assumption, rude and offensive.

I went to a walk/run clinic and was, in my running shoes, 6'5"-6'6" and taller than everyone by 6 inches or more. It seemed funny to me, particularly as I know exactly how tall I am and then think I am going to hit my head, and I miss by millimeters, and they jerk their head reflexively - I smile, but maybe that is just the endorphins.