Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Zed in top 100 and possibly free sex toys!

In a sense of divinely inspired timing I have received two pieces of news which may affect my future. First, this weekend, the Globe and Mail posted their top 100 books of 2006, and my novel, Zed, was number 1 for First Fiction (and it wasn’t listed alphabetically, I checked). The second piece of news is that I have been contacted, due to this blog, to become an affiliate of an adult products website (which also has a healthy gay/lesbian section) which (if I take them up on it) would mean I would make hefty money from anyone buying lubricant after visiting my site. As the comment from yesterday blog says “sex sells”.

Hmmmm, let’s compare. Zed was a couple years work, and while it did win an award and was favorably reviewed, it really isn’t a big seller and each book that sells makes me about $1.25. Putting up a link to an adult website would require virtually no work at all, and I could be making $5 from every dildo sold while I am sleeping.

Zed, while a work I love, does tend to get me down, particularly when I get a bunch of emails from people telling me they had to stop reading the book because it was so harsh or gave them nightmares. On the other hand, by simply putting up a link, I might end up with FREE SEX TOYS (Ha! I bet even Maya Angelou doesn’t get that as a perk! Nor does Dan Brown!).

Before I make that choice, I really would like to recommend that people read Zed. I know it has been charged with being extremely harsh simply because it has: incest, sexual molestation, pedophilia, using people as race horses, heroin overdoses, cannibalism, abuse of dead bodies, poisoning, kicking little girls until their ribs crack, mob lynchings, assisted suicide, sadism, necrophilia blow jobs, prostitution, setting people on fire, knife fights, orgies, 300 different uses for the word “fuck” and 12 pages of torturing a girl with lit cigarettes, power tools, knives and salt. But seriously, that’s just life. If you obsess about little things like that you’ll miss the point: which is that no matter how shit life is, we can become better than ourselves. The point is that even a orphan feral child who is loved by no one and must keep two steps ahead of everyone to survive can believe that there are things more important that just herself. (see how that just set it up as an inspirational gift for Xmas. If I tell you that two different pastors told me it was one if not the most inspirational books they had read, does that mean you will buy it as a gift for your conservative Christian relatives....please do!)

Now, on the other hand: Making money on OTHER people’s sex drive. Actually, that’s something I’ve been doing for a couple years with my giant gay/lesbian DVD sales (which is how I pay for things like...fencing). But I like to think of that as sort of missionary work – letting LGBT people from around the world know about films they might never of otherwise heard of (like the lesbian road film Suddenly, the gay rom/com Slutty Summer, or the LGBT mystery/comedy Gaudi Afternoon). But just seems that my entire writing income might be so easily eclipsed because humans are horny, horny creatures. That is, if I decide to turn “Screw Bronze” into a commercial product – OMG! I finally have a chance to “sell out!”

I’ve checked out their site and I have to admit, they seem pretty LGBT friendly, indeed, they have my curiosity aroused (yeah…my curiosity). The third choice on the page is “lesbian sex toys” and they have a special section called “lesbian vibrators.” Which immediately makes me wonder; “What makes these more lesbian than other vibrators? And why are there FIVE categories of lesbian vibrators?” Wow, I am seriously being tempted here; I mean they even have little phrases over their lesbian pages like “Lesbian sex toys bring lesbian couples closer and make things more fun.” AND they have lesbian erotic graphic novels.

Okay, back away from the computer Beth, a few deep breathes. Remember, you were supposed to be pimping your book and how the Canadian equivalent of the New York Times has selected it and here you are steaming up your computer screen and shouting, “Show me the massage oils!” So, uh, I’ll be thinking about it. But, you can still buy Zed, right now and no, there are not sex toys included with the book. Geez people try to focus, I know I’m still trying.


Wiccachicky said...

Did I tell you I put it on my amazon wishlist? :) You're getting great reviews!

GayProf said...

I am curious, from an academic standpoint, about the "lesbian vibrator" options.

Wouldn't you rather sell Tupperware?

Yoga Korunta said...

Elizabeth, I loved Zed and continue to recommend it.

Please answer mail.