Monday, September 11, 2006

Gay dolphin orgies: It's all about bond forming

Harper’s Sept. 2006 issue cites gay dolphin expert Janet Mann in discovering all male dolphin orgies which average 20 minutes in length. Janet Mann is a professor at Georgetown University and is an often quoted expert of gay sex with dolphin calves. She believes the behavior "is about bond formation” That was Brian’s opinion too about back rooms in gay clubs in Queer as Folk.

There is no news what Flipper and her pals were doing during the orgies, probably attending a music festival or dolphin vagina dialogues. Opo, was the earliest gay dolphin to come out of the closet, as she enchanted the nation of New Zealand from 1955 to 1956. Though she continued to tell the population she was gay, most of the population had never heard of Oscar Wilde and kept saying, “Yup, you sure are a happy dolphin!” She was found jammed in the rocks, and her death is surrounded in mystery (I am not making this up, that’s what the official New Zealand site says), with some thinking she had been murdered (hate crime?) while others speculating it was suicide.

While data about how frequent gay dolphin orgies are occurring still comes in, I think the dolphin watching tour industry needs to turn this into a plus, not a minus. Sure, a few families swathed in crosses from the Midwest will avoid the water lest their eyes be burned by hot gay dolphin love, but think of the influx of gay tourist dollars! Think of the gift shops, the themed bars, the parties!

This post has been inspired by Daniel, the Guy in the Desert, whose posts have educated me about queer sheep, cleaning out horse penis sheaths, perverted Cocker Spaniels, cat asses and more pics of naked/hot guys than I ever thought existed (I can only hope those pics will interest you more than me).


Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Humbly proud to be at your service, serving the "alternative" portion of the blogging community.

GayProf said...

And what does these Dolphin orgies involve exactly? Lots of E?

Jim said...

I hear they give good fin.

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