Thursday, September 14, 2006

Epee Fencing: jaccuzzi's and special training

During the week off, the Y transformed the long gym where the fencing is held. They painted it off white, they covered all the walls with mirrors and they upgraded to some hideous florescent lighting. Right now, it looks like a giant version of a changing room in a woman’s clothing store.

Monday I totally sucked. I practiced arm control at home but unless I practice at least 15-20 minutes every day or every other day, it is as if I have no control at all. During the first few bouts I watched as my point skidded up and along people’s arms, the tip never depressing. Or I missed completely. It was problematic as generally I can win with skill, with speed or with power. My skill was off, and I think I lunge slower now than three months ago and I didn’t feel like trying to muscle inside. As a winning plan, that left me bumpkis.

I talked to Mr. Ho and made a deal: I start going to Tuesday practice, he will start giving me lessons. Right after that I let him know that I wouldn’t be at Tuesday practice that week. But I had that aura of dedication for at least five, maybe ten minutes. Once I got home I remembered I wouldn’t be going to Friday practice this week either because a friend has given us two nights at their time-share condo with jaccuzzi. So yes, I will be engaged in athletic activity, but no, it won’t be fencing. I'll tell him I was doing special flexibility and endurance training when I get back.

I also found out that due to Canada going to a new schedule there will be one of the two National Tournaments in Vancouver this December. This means if I enter the tournament and win, then I am halfway to getting my C or B Canadian ranking. I Amanda came back from the High Performance Tournament in 7th place, which should be high enough for HP ranking. So I only have to beat her and at least 6 other women. She told me Magda, her nemesis from Vancouver who beat her for first place at the BC provincials, has retired because she is 28 and thus OLD. This bodes very ill for me as I plan to put to the test that axiom: you are as old as you can be pain medicated down to.

The last few days I have been putting on a giant ebay sale of gay and lesbian DVD’s in order to raise money to go to some fencing tournaments this year. I had definitely planned to go to North Carolina to the Iron Maiden competition in February. However, that currently looks out of reach as Linda, by being promoted from being an auxiliary to a full time government employee, lost 20% of take home pay AND ended up in a higher tax bracket (those crazy government people!). So currently all our income is tied up in investments like....food (and internet connections). But if the interest and libido of gays and lesbians with disposable income remains high and the ebay sale goes well, I should have enough money to cover equipment costs and some left over to go to a couple tournaments in Washington State. Since I desire to get a US ranking as well, this will be called the “Getting a B ranking in two countries on a budget” plan. I am open to sponsorship, though as regulations on fencing gear are quite strict, the best I can offer is trying to mutter your product name during bouts.

Over the course of the evening the endurance training must have kicked in. I fenced everyone with four bouts in a row in a “anything Amanda can do I can do better” move. Of course, it would be more convincing if I could WIN all those bouts. Toward the end of the evening, things started to come together and my arm touches came back, which makes it a lot better to end saying: “lose some, WIN some!” than “lose some, then lose some more.” Gerald asked me again to PLEASE not hit him in the groin. This made me feel much worse that first point when he tried to trap my blade with his arm so I stood all the way up and forced the blade onward for the touch, right down to the groin. But, hey, he tried to stop me from getting a point! I have a feeling the phrase I have been putting about “Elizabeth the Assassin” is being supplanted by one Gerald keeps saying: “It’s Elizabeth, watch your groin!”

3 comments:

kathz said...

If only leisure centres provided jacuzzis .... no, not as much fun as with a partner but wouldn't it be a lovely way to end an evening's hard fencing?

I hope the e-Bay sale makes huge and unforeseen profits and that you do brilliantly at a series of tournaments.

Wendryn said...

Having people worry about groin shots isn't as bad as it could be - my fiance cracked someone's collarbone in foil last week, and now everyone is saying "Please don't hurt me!" when he walks in just to see if they can make him feel bad again.

Goo dluck selling lots of stuff on Ebay!

Yoga Korunta said...

28 is "old?" Now I feel ancient! Hell, I remember when MTV played music!