I now face the question so many have faced in the past: what to do at work when horny? The last couple days have been an emotional roller coaster which started with a long blue funk depression on Saturday. Linda cajoled me out of the house with promise of beer and we went to Christies Pub where my favorite server, Elf girl, brought me beer and chicken wings. Last time, after complementing her visible tattoos, Elf girl told me she has her entire body covered with tattoo swirls and curves representing elf runes. Mmmmmmm (I like girls with tattoos, live with it, I do).
Within a pint of ale I was snuggled up to Linda and asking the servers if the big screen TV’s were showing the ice-capades. No, they told me, they were showing something called, The Stanley Cup. There were men and sticks and a zombie that looked a lot like Don Cherry. Meanwhile, this old guy at the next table over was staring really really hard at us trying to make our heads explode. This guy was really mad...at us. So, of course, I snuggled even closer and kissed even more, plus, due to being tipsy with the beer, I was flirting outrageously with Elf girl. I was having a good time, at least until the beer wore off.
Sunday, I was so undepressed that I willingly went on a 3.5 hour hike up a bunch of mountain peaks with Linda and her co-worker. I think there might have panoramas and vistas, but since I was trying to pretend that I was totally into this and in shape and thus most of the time starved for oxygen I don’t remember too well. I did find out that I can go 3.5 hours of hiking without whining or stopping for chocolate breaks every 15 minutes if we take someone who doesn’t know me. My vanity kicked into overdrive in attempts not to look like the pasty urban creampuff that I am.
So today, due to my exertions over the weekend I am tingly and alive. Alive, like blood pounding into every part of my body leaving me aching and restless alive. Mentally, I am very distracted; and I keep saying “boobies” to myself for no reason. Do you recognize this condition? Trolling through my bookmarked favorites I find a rather embarrassing number of pages on masturbation, which I now claim was for a follow up blog on my post on female masturbation (which never happened; I think I got distracted then too). I also seem to have bookmarked every vibrator from Hello Kitty to Ipod Surprise.
On vibrators, tingly & restless, I have to say nothing is sadder than turning on your vibrator and finding out, as it struggles to rotate or even twitch, that your batteries have run down and you don’t have any more batteries in the house. This is my morning.
Doing a bit of searching I have found pics of some very nice goth and tattoo girls, and some very odd things as well. Suicide Girls seems to have spawned unlimited knock-offs including one (Which I won’t be linking too) which has pictures and models of “kinky goth girls and hot satanists” To the creators of that site, I just want to point out that wearing devil’s horns while naked does not make a girl a Satanist – actually, if it is Halloween and I have had a bit to drink, it’s just probably me.
Due to my lack of batteries and iron resolve, I am going to put my clothes back on. I will go for a walk on the park, I will stop putting “Lesbian boobies” into google search engine and I will stop making semi-obscene phone calls to Linda. I am warm, I am tingly and I am out of chocolate. It’s going to be a long day.
Jpeg 4 - http://www.tao-of-tattoos.com/images/fetish_model_1.jpg