Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Seattle living: Stalking & Ninjas

Travel is a very educational experience. Linda and I were stalked for the last three blocks by a strange short man in green. The girl at the hostel tells me, "Don't worry about him, he'll follow you but he's too heavily medicated to do anything." Oh good.

Today I saw a fight between three christian street preachers outside the mall: the baptist preacher in his black suit and white hat was winning with pure volume but the two evangelicals had joined to tag teaming him with theological arguements, moving him out out of the prime preaching spot.

Coming back to our hostel I saw the award winning begging sign - "FAMILY KILLED BY NINJAS: Need money for kung fu lessons." That pretty much killed my dreams about becoming homeless because I don't think I can top that sign.

I'd blog longer but am being driven off the public hostel terminal. This is primarily due to the guy at the table next to me who, in the last 20 minutes has tried to get four different girls to have sex with him. It seems more of a career to him than a hobby. His key phrase is, "You know, it is all about the experience, living the now and being open to everything that is going on." Are there still girls drunk enough in hostels to fall for that? If so, can I use that line?


GayProf said...

No, I think your line to drunk-girls should somehow involve stories about "accidental" bruising to groins during a sword fight.

Come to think of it, though, shouldn’t simply saying “Hey, I fence – you know, with a sword and stuff” be a good enough line all on its own? What are you complaining about?

kathz said...

I love the fighting street preachers. It takes me back to the summer of 1980 when you were very tiny and I was visiting the New York Public Library on 5th Avenue every day for a few weeks. This was before the city had been "cleaned up" and I used to love watching the regular rows between the pretzel sellers and the guys selling drugs - all about who had which pitch and never about ethics.

As for the line to drunk girls, have you ever tried, "Would you like to come up and see my bruises?"

elizabeth said...

Hey! You have yet to tell us why you have drawn such attention... (obviously because you are a great writer but - was there a specific incident?)

Hope you gals are having fun - and have lost the stalker.

NOTHING said...

thats kinda creepy that stalker guy

funchilde said...

i got dry humped by a stranger in mexico this week. so i think anytime you walk out the door you're fair game.

Elizabeth McClung said...

See, I really really would carry an epee around with me if that happened - I decided to start a world map of all the cities and countries where men have shouted out that they want to have sex with me (often using more colourful language). As I asked Linda, "What are they hoping for? That I go 'sounds good', rip off my jeans and lie down with legs spread in the middle of the sidewalk?"