While I vowed never to do tagged stuff, because this is my first tagging EVER and because Mario tagged me, I will do it. Before that however, I want to reward Mario with a link to yet more representations of lesbian pirates, brought to us by Capt’n Dyke, Pirate Queen.
I am the offspring of generations of debauchery and acts of depravity on one side of the family, and hapless eccentricity on the other.
I want the power to start fires with my mind, is that so much to ask? You can trust me with it; honest!
I wish I had bought my first vibrator a lot earlier in life. My first stun gun too.
I hate the Secret Order of the Kukaro who have put the curse of a thousand urinary tract infections on me for watching their secret rituals. I also really hate ants, they have no ears and never stop coming; creepy.
I fear the world ending while I am asleep; I’ve already missed one apocalypse, I don’t want to miss this one.
I hear you chewing popcorn 12 rows back in the cinema. News Flash: closing your mouth when you eat is polite even WHEN PEOPLE CAN’T SEE YOU.
I wonder how I can encourage people toward spontaneous combustion – it’s clean, it’s efficient, it’s good for the environment.
I am not the person you want to babysit your children. Last child I babysat I spent 2 hours teaching it to say the CORRECT words: “No, not square, parallelogram, say it after me: “parallelogram””
I dance naked, a lot. Too much. Sometimes after Linda goes to bed. Is this why the guy across the street gives me a thumbs up every time he sees me?
I cry when I can’t get my own way, or just to make someone feel guilty; in the supermarket when someone takes the last jar of extra spicy pickles; whenever approached by police regarding my going 50-60 miles over the speed limit.
I am not easy to miss in a crowd. I’m tall, I’m usually staring at someone trying to make their head explode, or I am drinking and saying inappropriate things. The person punching me on the arm trying to get me to shut up would be Linda.
I make with my hands, pretty much nothing at all, unless scented oil massages count as “making with my hands”.
I write love letters, mostly to dead people.
I confuse left and right, which I usually refer to as “This hand” versus “This hand.” When Linda is giving me directions she says, “Turn right, that’s towards me.”
I need some coffee once or twice a year, just to remember that particular tangy smell it adds to my pee.
I start fires. No, no, no, I mean I support fire prevention measures. Kids, don’t play with matches, find a lighter and hair spray canister instead.
I finish every year with the resolution that I am never to old for making prank phone calls or having sleep-overs.
I try, not because it is possible, but because everyone thinks it is impossible.
I tag Elizabeth, Kathz & Nothing.
And because I vowed never to put up links to online quizzes, I will do that today also (guess I might as well break that vow about never eating a liter of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting again too). The quiz is to determine what type of fencing blade best fits your personality. Somehow no matter what I put in, I end up with saber.
1 day ago