Friday, May 19, 2006

Birthdays, lingerie and traumatized clowns

Today is induced labour day; today just might be my birthday. I think this could be my 6th birthday. See, I grew up in a religion (Cult!) which felt that celebrating birthdays was bad. The reasons included vanity and how Harod the king didn’t know what day Jesus was born. It seemed to make sense when I was six. So no 18th, or 21st or 25th birthday for me because, being born wasn’t something we were suppose to be happy about (that should tell you a lot about religion)

Now that I have freed myself from cultsville, I only have the sucky birthdays left (unless you know some 22 years olds going, “Gee, I can’t wait for my 35th & 40th birthday”). I want the birthday where I ride a pony, am traumatized by a clown, eat all the icing and then throw up; Or the one where I get tipsy and "accidentally" kiss the girl I have been obsessing over during all of high school; I want the birthday where, finally legal to drink, I go to every nightclub getting totally drunk and leave my Daddy to sit up till 3 a.m. with a fevered imagination. Or even the “How did I end up in the Sea World dolphin tank?” birthday, that would be great. How old am I? I am turning 27 – say it, believe it, be it! You’ll have to cut me open and count the rings to prove otherwise.

How do I celebrate my birthday? Usually I have a plan which involves me accepting my age by running off into the mountains, living as a wild woman, and seen occasionally pressed up against people’s windows. I want to be the mythic figure parents warn their children about appearing if they don’t eat all their green beans.

Linda has other plans. She is taking me lingerie shopping. Woo hoo! I think this might involve us and a lot of giggling inside the change room. Then she is taking me to a restaurant/club named Syn which has pictures of naked women on the walls and drinks with very rude names. After that it’s a surprise. Maybe she’ll run away to the mountains with me, clothing optional? Or traumatize a clown? I’d like that.

Jpeg 1 - http://www.clublez.com/movies/lesbian_movie_scenes/o/oc_the_the_snoc/
Jpeg 2 - http://www.lookstudios.ca/images/b_glamour_2.jpg

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Whatever you do, just make sure you spend the day enjoying yourself!

kathy wc

The Watcher said...

Happy Natal Day, me Poet Laureate W.A.E.!

On this auspicious day, th'woman who brought ye into th'world brought a lil'bit o'sunshine into th' Capn's life (well, maybe nightmares in th'future when 'Zoe' get shipped).

Anyway, I have a pony down th'road iffin ye want a ride an' ye can run all over Blue Mound without ye clothes on as long as ye wish!

As far as th'clown...would traumatizin' th'idiot at me clinic work?

A tankard o'grog to me favorite fencer!

elizabeth said...

I was sure I left a Happy Birthday message earlier! (but then I've been drinking...)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOGFRIEND! Celebrate like hell and come back to tell of it.
Muaw.

Tanginika-Simone said...

You should have all those birthdays in one! That would be neat! Isn't it insane to be taught that our birthdays are not worth celebrating? I am very glad you broke free and are now celebrating! You have some catching up to do, so you should have a hell of a celebration every year. I love birthdays, mine and others'. By the way, the nude pic is extremely sensual and beautiful. I was an arts model and always appreciate nudity in art. Cheers and happy birthday (27th birthday, that is. I will be turning 28, or so I say...)

NOTHING said...

happy birthday

best of wishes

piecesofeight said...

Happy belated birthday! Hope you had a good day.

GayProf said...

This is just a stab in the dark based on your description: Were you raised as a Jehovah's Witness? Or, maybe, Amish?


Whatever the case, that sucks. I am a recovering Catholic and I still need to work through all my guilt issues. I feel guilty for even writing that. At least we got to have birthdays, though (for which we later felt guilty about having too much fun).

Being raised Quaker would have been much better. I am not sure you get the birthdays, but you would have had the whole-inner-light-egalitarian-pacifist thing going for you.


Happy Birthday!

Yoga Korunta said...

Happy induced labor day, Elizabeth! Is it also your birthday? If so, Happy Birthday, too!

Glad you've become deprogrammed!

elizabeth said...

Are you still hungover?

kathz said...

I hope it was a wonderful birthday and that you're still celebrating. (Sorry this is late - didn't get round till checking your blog till today.) I have a glass of wine beside me and have just drunk your health to wish you many happy returns.

Anyway, time to make up for all those birthdays you missed - try having two every year until you've caught up.

(Note to gayprof - this Quaker always celebrates birthdays.)

Murray said...

Hope you enjoyed your birthday - especially at SYN with Linda.

Happy belated birthday. Ok - I am late but today I have time to do one of my favorite things - read your blog.

funchilde said...

lmao. still. happy belated. and as a self described crazy.black.chic who is 33, i can't WAIT for my 35th and 40th birthdays because i am STILL the most happy and fabulously crazy person i know. and i see some of that shining in you with your crazy self!

B.V. Brus said...

Even those of us who were allowed to celebrate birthdays don't necessarily remember any of them as being particularly special. Darned if I know what happened on my 13th (teen!), 16th (driver's permit?), or 18th (legal). Nada. Nothing interesting. No party. A card, sure, and MAYBE a special dinner held over until the next closest payday weekend.

And, yes, I actually did get excited about May 17, 1999 -- it marked 33-1/3 years of my life, a third of the way to 100. And at 40, I became a "veteran" in the eyes of the USFA, which means I get to play in more tourneys next season, also very exciting. I'm looking forward to 50, too.