Where are the Indi IMAX films, the Zombie IMAX films?

While I started this blog because, for the first time in a long time, I “have a life.”; these last few days, I have been suffering too much “life” (like getting a new apartment and my partner getting a new job within 36 hours and 17 phone calls) to have time to blog. John Creasey apparently wrote an entire book during a tennis weekend with friends (he wrote over 500 books in his lifetime - I've written 5). As I am not likely to match John Creasey, I can hope he either didn’t have serious relationships or much of a personality.

Today I was taken to Victoria IMAX to be given a yearly pass. I tend to read books, write books, or live in my head in order to escape the drudgery of existence on “Prison Earth.” Therefore, I’m usually adverse to watching what I avoid day to day projected on a screen four stories tall. But my partner, Linda, likes IMAX. And I like Linda.

I loathe educational programs. I prefer to be educated with text and receive my mind-numbing entertainment in widescreen and superduper surround sound, not vice versa. So at Victoria IMAX, I asked the first Imax representative if they were planning on showing any of the full length feature films on IMAX (like has been done with Star Wars). No, she told me, Vancouver shows those films (this was told in the way a sommelier would refer to the double-jug of wine drunk sans glass in your lawn chair atop your trailer-home) but that THIS IMAX only shows National Geographic Films.

In that case, I asked, were there any National Geographic films which were made for complete enjoyment and contained no educational or redeeming value whatsoever?

“No, we don’t show IMAX films like that.”

Going to be a long year.

I asked the next IMAX representative, the person taking my picture for the year pass, if there are any National Geographic Imax films with capricious violence? Anything named “Death in the Desert” or “Savage Blood II”, or even something with mindless populous or gratuitous appeal? No. Not yet. Not now, and probably not ever.

They did point me to their wild side which was a 14 year old Rolling Stones IMAX feature. But, I was told, that is the one picture which is excluded by my pass. Oh really? The only one excluded? And was there some sort of morality/education clause on my pass? Would I be excluded from every popular or escapist IMAX film?

The representative sat frozen as Linda came up and pulled on my arm to let me know I was scaring the staff.

I think we will go see the IMAX film on horses next week. I expect it will be very informative.